


dynamic

by kagshina



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Developing Relationship, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, POV Alternating, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-09-22 15:30:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9614183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kagshina/pseuds/kagshina
Summary: “So, uh,” Keith starts, and Lance notices the way he shifts, like he’s not quite sure how to say what he wants to say. “How are we gonna...do this?”Before answering the question, Lance makes a quick list in his head of things he should never do:Ask the boy he has a huge crush on to be his fake boyfriend for the sake of proving a point (even if Lance thinks he’s going to say no, because apparently he might actually say yes!)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cieyuu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cieyuu/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic was inspired by [cie's post](http://planetaltea.co.vu/post/156415485668/mcslained-ok-but-i-need-a-fake-datingklance-fic), so it's dedicated to her because it wouldn't be a thing other wise <3
> 
> thank u cie for letting me do something with this idea...i hope u like this at least a little
> 
> also a huge thanks to jean, max, and mal for reading through this and giving me advice!!

“Keith, Lance. Hold on for a second.”

Lance is mid turn when Shiro’s voice forces him back around, interrupting his plans to follow after Hunk and ask if he wants to play one of the many games Lance has invented during his time in space. The castle gets boring, and Lance likes to pride himself on his ability to keep it interesting.

He spares a glance to Keith, who looks as confused as Lance feels, and then snaps his gaze away, grinning at Shiro. “Did you want to commend my awesome skills? Tell Keith that he should try and be more like me?” Lance pretends not to notice Keith’s glare.

Shiro sighs, and Lance feels a wave of worry. That’s never a good sign. (Though, Shiro is sighing a lot these days. Probably a byproduct of having to save the world and being more or less in charge of four teenagers.) He’s also wearing his signature concerned face with a touch of discomfort, which means whatever he’s about to say isn’t going to be something Lance wants to hear. He braces himself for the worst.  

“I think you guys should spend more time training together,” Shiro suggests, but it sounds less like a suggestion and more like a request. “You guys have the worst dynamic of anyone on the team and—”

Even braced for impact, the words make his stomach drop. He’d been prepared for _something_ , but not that.

“Uh, no we don’t,” Lance interrupts, and he’s sharing a look with Keith that says they’re on the same page. See, _Keith agrees with him_.

Sure, they might fight sometimes, but they don’t have the _worst_ dynamic. It isn’t like the fighting gets in the way of their teamwork. At least, he doesn’t think it does. He scrunches up his face, trying to remember past arguments and times that could have dubbed them worst dynamic. There was that one time they crashed their lions into the ground, but it’s not like that was a recurring thing.

 _They make a good team_. They’d already agreed on that, but here was Shiro, telling them otherwise, and it doesn’t sit well with Lance.

“Well, I’d still appreciate it if the two of you started working together more often,” Shiro tells them, and Lance looks to Keith to gauge his reaction. He doesn’t seem opposed to the idea of spending more time with Lance.

“Sure, whatever, if it makes you happy,” Lance says, and then finds himself adding, “But for the record, if we have a bad dynamic it’s Keith’s fault.”

Keith turns to glare, and he huffs, “If it’s anyone’s fault it’s yours!”

Lance shakes his head with an innocent shrug. “Keep telling yourself that, buddy.”

Shiro sighs again, and Lance ignores the way his stomach twists. He doesn't like the idea that he and Keith are somehow bad together.

They aren’t perfect by any means, but they’ve come a long way. Supposedly, they haven't come far enough.

Whatever.

 

 

 

The next day, Keith asks Lance to train with him.

He has his hands shoved deep in his pockets, standing outside Lance’s door like if he stands there long enough, some hole in the floor will open up and he’ll fall through.

“Do you want to train with me?” Keith asks, the words come out reluctant, or maybe nervous. It’s not like they’ve never trained together, they’ve just never gone out of their way to do it. It’s always been, ‘you’re here, I’m here, we might as well work together.’

Lance doesn't let himself get excited. He knows the only reason Keith is asking is because of what Shiro said. Of course Keith would want to make Shiro happy.

Lance leans against his doorframe, grinning. “Are you using Shiro as an excuse to spend time with me?”

Keith crosses his arms over his chest, unamused. “You know what? Forget it,” he huffs, turning around.

He doesn't get far before Lance calls after him. “Hey, Keith, hold up! I was joking. I think it’s a good idea, training together,” he rushes to get out before Keith can get any further.

Keith looks at him, skeptical. “You think it’s a good idea?” He asks, his words coming out slow, like he thinks Lance is gonna finger gun and say ‘gotcha.’

“Yep,” Lance confirms with a nod, and Keith doesn't seem completely convinced, but he’s no longer taking back the offer.

They walk side by side in silence, and Lance only sneaks a few glances at Keith, watching the way he keeps his eyes trained on what’s in front of him. He’s wearing a slight pout that he Lance doesn’t think Keith’s even aware of, and _ugh_ , it’s annoying how Keith can be cute without ever trying.

“So uh, what’d you have in mind?” Lance asks when they reach the training room.

“Um,” Keith pauses, like he hadn’t thought that far in advance.

Lance imagines Keith making a spur of the moment decision to ask Lance to come with him, and the thought brings a smile to his lips before he can stop it.

“I can teach you how to fight with a knife.”

Lance’s eyes widen slightly, but he quickly hides his surprise, nodding in an attempt to give off the impression of _chill_. “Okay, cool.”

“You want to?”

“Yeah. Sounds exciting,” Lance says with a shrug. Having Keith teach him how to fight with a knife? No big deal.

Except that, every time Keith’s hand lands on Lance when he's showing him how to position himself, touch cautious, like he might break Lance if his grip is too tight, it _feels_ like a big deal.

Lance has had crushes before. He knows them well enough to recognize the signs, to know the swirling in his chest and the tingling of his skin at every touch is how his body reacts when he like someone.

Against all odds, _He likes Keith_.

Keith is hot tempered and impulsive, and he gets on Lance’s nerves like no one else can but he also… _well—_

Keith is cool. _Keith has always been cool_ , and maybe that’s part of the problem, because every time Lance watches Keith fly, Lance feels a longing in his heart, a longing to be that good, to have the kind of talent that other people look up to.

Lance knows that he’s a good pilot, but he also knows he’s second, and.... Second doesn’t _feel_ good. Second feels like failure.

Having a crush is hard enough, but having a crush on someone you feel inadequate to, that’s a lot harder.

Lance pushes the thoughts aside in favor of focusing on Keith’s instructions, and when Keith decides that Lance is ready to do some actual fighting, he pretends the closeness that comes with knife fighting doesn’t make his heart bubble with warmth while simultaneously making him nauseous.

Lance has always thought crushes were fun. They’re less fun, however, when the effects hit you in the middle of a god damn knife fight.

He puts up a good fight, he thinks, but in the end, he’s forced to admit defeat.

Despite that, he’s prepared to boast about what a fast learner he is, how he totally almost took Keith down, but Keith surprises him by beating him to it.

“You almost had me there, for a moment,” Keith admits, and he sounds impressed. Lance hates how that makes him giddy.

“What can I say?” Lance brags with an exaggerated shrug, “I’m a fast learner.” Keith didn’t beat him to that line, at least.

“Yeah, you are,” Keith agrees, and Lance curses the heat that rises to his cheeks.

A silence falls between them, and Lance is ready to take that as his queue to leave, he’s already making his way to the door, the words, ‘Thanks for the lesson, Mullet, but I’ve got places to be,’ on the tip of his tongue, but the words never make any further because—

“Do you really think we have the worst dynamic?” Keith asks suddenly, causing Lance’s heart to take a nervous beat as he turns around, hoping the shock doesn't show on his face.

“I don't think our dynamic is worse than any of theirs,” Lance says slowly, carefully, like one wrong move will send them both crashing down.

Keith shakes his head, huffing out in obvious frustration. Lance watches the way Keith’s face twists, like he’s working through his thoughts until finally he gets out, “ _I thought we made a good team._ ”

Lance swallows, remembering when he said those words. He still stands by them, no matter what Shiro thinks.

“We do,” Lance agrees, and watches as Keith nods.

“I wish,” Keith sighs, biting down on his lip. “I wish there was a way we could show him that.”

Part of Lance is tempted to dispel the tension in the room with a joke, something along the lines of, ‘Aw, Keith, I didn't know you cared so much,’ but he knows now isn't the time for a joke. The air between them feels too heavy.

So instead, he swallows his nerves and says, “Maybe there is.”

Keith’s eyebrows furrow in confusion, and he asks, “What do you mean?”

Lance grins, and it only falters slightly. “Beat me and I’ll tell you.”

Keith’s lip pulls up slightly at the challenge. “You’re on.”

Lance realizes almost immediately that Keith had been going easy on him before, and that knowledge irritates him. He doesn't need the help, and he doesn’t want Keith acting like he does.

“You better not be holding back,” Lance grunts, narrowly missing Keith’s jab.

“I don't want to hurt you,” Keith says, eyes trained on Lance.

“Then don't worry about hurting me.”

Keith shakes his head, leveling Lance with a look that he can't quite place, other than the disbelief that comes with it.

Lance uses Keith’s temporary loss of focus to hurl himself towards Keith, but that does not work in his favor because before he knows what’s happening, Keith has him pinned against the wall, knife to his throat.

“You might find third hard to believe,” Keith gets out, “but I care about your wellbeing.”

The words go straight to his heart.

Lance glances from the knife to Keith, whose breaths comes out heavy, similar to Lance’s.

And of course Lance’s mind decides to remind him that he finds Keith attractive, which is not a thought he wants to be focusing on when said attractive person is currently _pinning him against a wall_.

Lance coughs awkwardly, and Keith seems to realize the position they’re in, taking a step back and moving the knife to his side.

“So, uh,” Keith turns the knife over in his hands, eyes glued to it. “Are you going to tell me your plan now?”

Lance lets a moment of silence pass before pushing himself from the wall. “After a shower,” he tells Keith. “You should take one too, you’re not smelling too great.” Lance tilts his head and raises his eyebrows, catching a glimpse of offense on Keith’s face before he starts walking away.

“You don't smell good either!” Keith shouts to his departing back, and that actually makes Lance _smile_.

Apparently, if you’re Keith Kogane, all it takes to make Lance smile is telling him he smells bad.

 

 

 

Lance recognizes that his idea is bad. He _knows_ that, he _acknowledges_ that, but that doesn't stop him from sharing it with Keith anyway.

It’s not like Keith will agree, so what’s the harm in suggesting it? Keith wants to prove Shiro wrong, and this would definitely work, so while he recognizes that it’s a bad idea, he can’t say that it’s _all_ bad.

It’s definitely not the worst plan he’s ever come up with.

Maybe.

Keith’s knock on his door makes him question that.

Lance hops up from his bed, swallowing his nerves and throwing the door open with a grin. “Hey there.”

Keith’s faces shows a moment of surprise at the commotion, and then he’s giving his head a small shake, laughing under his breath with an eye roll. _Cute_ , Lance thinks, and then internally sighs at himself for letting the thought surface.

“So what’s the plan?” Keith asks, stepping into the room and out of the way so Lance can close the door.

“I mean, so like,” Lance starts with his back to Keith, and then he turns to face him. _Breathe, Lance_. He lets out a breath. “Hear me out.”

Keith raises an eyebrow. “Should I be worried?”

“What? No, it’s a good idea. It’s just, uh, okay. You want to prove Shiro wrong, and uh, well, I was thinking, a really good way to do that would be to fake date,” the words are out, he could stop there and wait for Keith’s reaction, but the idea of silence right now scares him, so instead he keeps talking. “You know, because if we’re dating he can’t say our dynamic is bad. Or it’s less likely. I don’t know, you don’t have to say yes, it was just—”

“Okay,” Keith interrupts, and Lance’s heart rate picks up.

“Okay?” He repeats, as if he isn’t sure what it is Keith is agreeing to.

“Yeah, _okay_.”

“Seriously?”

“It’s a good plan.”

Keith just agreed to fake dating him. Keith is going to be his fake boyfriend.

Holy shit.

Lance feels his cheeks heat up at the idea, and wow, nope. He is not allowed to blush right now. Not a good idea. It’s a very, very bad idea. None of this is a good idea! What was he thinking!? What _is_ he thinking!?  

“So, uh,” Keith starts, and Lance notices the way he shifts, like he’s not quite sure how to say what he wants to say. “How are we gonna...do this?”

Before answering the question, Lance makes a quick list in his head of things he should never do:

  1. Ask the boy he has a huge crush on to be his fake boyfriend for the sake of proving a point (even if Lance thinks he's going to say no, because apparently he might actually say yes!)



“I, uh, hadn’t thought that far ahead,” Lance admits.

“We’ll plan it out together then,” Keith suggests tentatively, and Lance can’t believe this is actually happening. He’s currently alone in his room, with Keith, about to discuss the details of their fake relationship. That means talking about their fake history, and their fake feelings, which maybe aren’t so fake for Lance.

What could go wrong?

He gets his answer no more than five minutes later, when the words, “So, um, we’re going to have to kiss,” leave Keith’s mouth, followed by a blush.

 _Kissing_.

Of course they have to kiss.

Lance attempts a laugh, something to ease the awkwardness, but in the end it only makes things more uncomfortable.

“No problem,” Lance says with a shrug and a falsely confident grin. “I’m a pro.”

Keith rolls his eyes. “I’m sure you are,” he replies in a tone that indicates he thinks Lance is full of himself.

And then, because this is Keith he’s talking to, and whenever he’s with Keith he seems to lose whatever filter he has, the words, “You’ll be saying something different when I’m kissing you,” come out before he can stop them.

It takes two seconds for his mind to process what he just said, and another second for slight panic to set in.

_What. The. Hell._

That’s not what he meant to say! Or, well, it kind of was, but it wasn’t supposed to sound… _like that_.

He chances a glance in Keith’s direction, and oh. _Oh_. He’s blushing, and not the light blushes Lance has noticed on him before, but a deep blush that makes Lance’s insides feel all mushy and warm.

And wow, that’s not fair at all.

Lance takes a slow, cautious breath, trying to regain his composure, to pretend those words never left his mouth.

Lance needs to say something. He’s not good with silence, especially when that silence comes with awkwardness hanging around in the air.

“Wow, you’re really blushing.”

Well, that probably wasn’t the best option but it got Keith to look at him, _and_ glare. That’s something!

“Shut up,” Keith mutters, and Lance’s lip pulls up in a smile. _Familiar territory._

“You shut up,” Lance retorts, and he doesn’t miss the ghost of a smile on Keith’s face either.

“I bet you suck at kissing,” Keith says, but there’s no malicious intent behind the words.

“I bet _you_ suck at kissing,”

“I guess we’ll find out soon enough.”

“You’re going to lose,” Lance informs, because making this whole thing into a competition makes it easier.

Keith is holding his gaze, the same determined look Lance is wearing mirrored on Keith’s face. “I didn’t realize it was a competition.”

“Isn’t everything with us?” Lance asks, and he’s not sure why that causes his heart to skip a beat, or why it makes the atmosphere between them feel thicker.

“Guess so,” Keith says, but he doesn’t sound convinced.

They hold each other’s eyes for a moment (possibly multiple moments) longer than necessary, before Lance finally averts his eyes and says, “So, back to how we became boyfriends.”

 

 

 

Half an hour later, they’ve got a story to tell if anyone asks. It’s not the most exciting of stories, but it’s believable, and that’s all it needs to be.

Basically, somewhere between saving the world and picking fights, they realized there was a reason they were constantly standing around each other, and blada blada bing, one thing led to another and then Lance confessed his feelings and it just so happened that Keith felt the same, and now they’re happily dating.

For Lance, it isn’t that far off from the truth. Other than the whole “confessing feelings” part, that is.

He wonders how different this conversation is for Keith, since he’s not dealing with the existential crisis that often comes with having a crush. But not just any crush, _no_ , a crush in the middle of space, on one of the six people he’s currently living in a flying castle with. Add in the fact that they’re responsible for the fate of the universe, and a crush really is a recipe for disaster.

“When are we going to tell everyone?” Keith asks, breaking the silence and pulling Lance from his thoughts. (Probably for the best.)

“How about right now?” Lance suggests, because there’s no better time than the present, and mostly he just wants to get it  out of the way.

_Before they both realize what a horrible idea this is._

“Do you think it’ll work?” Keith asks, like he’s genuinely curious.

“Of course it’ll work!” Lance informs, too upbeat for the amount of nerves he’s currently experiencing. “Who wouldn’t believe you’re in love with me?”

Keith rolls his eyes and lets out a sigh, but Lance can hear the quiet laugh it holds.

 

 

 

“You have an announcement?” Shiro asks skeptically, looking between the two of them.

“Yep,” answers Lance with a nod, which only seems to increase Shiro’s wariness.

“It’s not bad,” Keith clarifies, and Shiro only raises an eyebrow before shrugging.

“Well, we’re all here, so go ahead then.”

A wave of nerves pass through Lance, but he puts on a big grin and pretends that everything is great, that nothing could be better.

“Keith and I have something important to tell you all,” Lance informs loudly, grabbing everyone’s attention.

They’re met with the same dubious look that Shiro had given, and Lance catches himself glancing in Keith’s direction to see if he finds it as frustrating as Lance.

To his surprise, Keith’s eyes are already on him, causing Lance to glance away before he has a chance to search for his answer.

It’s something about the implication that anything involving the two of them is going to be bad that doesn’t sit well with him.

It’s something about the way everyone just _assumes_ they don’t like each other that makes him stir uncomfortably.

Lance wants to show them how wrong they all. Lance wants to replace, ‘Lance and Keith, the worst dynamic,’ and turn it into, ‘Lance and Keith, the best dynamic.’

His heart pounds at the realization. Having a crush is one thing, this feels like something else entirely. A different set of emotions he’s not ready for. That’s a thought he can dwell on later. Right now, he has some minds to blow.

“We didn’t want to tell you because we didn’t want it to change anything,” Lance begins.

“And we wanted to figure out what it was first,” Keith picks up.

“And now that we know, we want to tell all of you,” Lance says, gaze turning from the confused faces of the team and resting solely on Keith. Lance doesn’t pay any mind to the warmth that seeps into his chest when Keith looks back, expression soft. He spares a moment to wish it were real.

“We’re dating,” Keith delivers the bomb, wrapping his fingers between Lance’s as the words leave his mouth. Lance only half notices the way everyone is gawking at them in stunned silence, Keith’s hand in his making it hard to concentrate on anything else.

He’s wearing his gloves, of course he is, but the contact still makes Lance’s heart flutter in a way that should only be possible when you’re holding the hand of someone you’re dating, which he isn’t, because none of this is real.

 _“_ Dude, I’m your best friend! Why didn’t you tell me first?” Hunk breaks through the silence, and Lance feels bad the moment he sees the hurt expression Hunk wears.

_I didn’t tell you because then I’d have to talk about my feelings, and I don’t want to do that, because we’re not actually dating, I just can’t seem to keep my bad ideas to myself._

But Lance can’t say that, so he gets an apology ready, but before he has time to say anything, Hunk’s voice is filling the room again. “I mean, I totally knew you liked him but still! I’m supposed to be your best friend, man!”

Lance’s face goes red, and he hopes desperately that Keith doesn’t notice. He hopes desperately that Keith won’t think anything of Hunk’s words.

“Um, uh,” Lance laughs, and it comes out far more strained than he’d intended. _Get it together, Lance_. He takes a breath and starts again. “I’m sorry man, I really wanted to tell you but Keith said we should wait to tell everyone at once.”

Lance doesn’t miss the glare Keith throws his way, but it only brings a grin to his lips.

“Humans have a weird way of showing affection,” Allura comments, and Lance isn’t sure how to respond to that.

Fortunately, Keith knows exactly what to say. “It’s different for everyone.”

Those words, four _simple_ words, should not make his heart stir the way they do.

“I’d tell you not to let it affect Voltron, but that’s probably going to be Shiro’s thing, so… don’t be gross in front of us,” Pidge tells them.

Lance only manages a squeak in response before Shiro is speaking, his voice full of authority. “Being able to form Voltron is our number one priority. I hope your relationship will improve your teamwork rather than cause problems.”

Lance swallows, feeling the pressure of Shiro’s assertion. Shiro’s comment is the reason this whole thing started in the first place, so hearing his reaction to the news feels… odd, in a way.

Lance thinks their teamwork is just fine how it is, but whatever. They can get better. They can show Shiro just how good of a team they are.

“We won’t let it get in the way,” Keith promises, and Lance wonders for a moment, how he’d be feeling right now if everything about this conversation was real, if they weren’t faking it out of spite.

Coran’s voice keeps him from dwelling on the thought for long. “This is interesting news!” Coran declares. “You might be interested in hearing the stories of the past blue and red paladins.”

Keith and Lance give each other a confused glance before turning back to Coran, the question evident in their expressions.

_How does this have anything to do with the past paladins?_

Coran opens his mouth to provide an explanation, but his words are drowned out by the sound of the castle alarms going off, putting their big announcement to an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my goal is to update this once a week, hopefully every monday but...we will see
> 
> please tell me if there are mistakes so i can fix them!!
> 
> [tumblr](http://garrettshunk.tumblr.com/)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A note about the timeline of this fic: It's canon compliant for season 1, not season 2. Season 2 just... didn't happen in this fic
> 
> It takes place like a month after all the paladins find each other again 
> 
> You might have noticed I added the soulmate tag... this fic isn't a soulmate AU but Lance and Keith are very much soulmates in it

Keith bolts forward the moment the alarms sound, ready to run to his lion, until something keeps him from moving any further. He’s confused for a second, until he realizes he’s still holding Lance’s hand, and that it’s Lance who’s keeping him from his lion. 

“Let  _ go _ ,” Keith says, his tone more forceful than necessary. He’s only thinking about getting to his lion and getting rid of whatever threat is trying to attack them, but then he sees the way Lance’s face twists, and his stomach drops. He didn’t—he wasn't trying to sound mean about it but—

“Jeez, you could try and ask nicely,” Lance laughs, like it's a joke, but he lets go of his hold on Keith’s hand in a way that doesn't feel like a joke, in a way that feels more like he’s been burned. 

Keith opens his mouth to apologize, but the alarms are still going off, and the other paladins are moving around him, and it's not like Keith has any idea  _ how _ to apologize, so instead he just turns away, hurrying towards his lion like he’d tried to in the first place. 

He pushes the guilt as far back as he can, which still isn't far enough. He’s never been good at pushing things back when it comes to Lance. Keith is good at ignoring his problems, he's been doing it for long enough, but never  _ Lance _ . Not at the Garrison, and not now. 

Maybe because Lance isn't a  _ problem _ , he’s just, he’s Lance, so different from everything else, and Keith is still trying to make sense of him, to understand where he fits in Keith’s life, where Keith  _ wants _ him to fit. 

They’re friends, he thinks. It’s rocky, but it's still something. It’s still more than they used to be. But now, now they're  _ boyfriends _ . Okay, not really, they’re not actually dating, but it still makes everything complicated, because it makes pushing back the fact that Keith wouldn't mind removing the “fake” from “fake boyfriend” and he doesn't know how to deal with that. 

Fortunately, right now, in this exact moment, he doesn't  _ have _ to deal with it. What he  _ has _ to do is form Voltron and get rid of the threat. That, at least, he can do. 

 

 

 

The moment Keith steps out of his lion he feels the weight of his mistakes heavy in his chest. 

He hadn’t—he’s not sure what he’d meant to do, but fighting with Lance in the middle of battle definitely wasn't it. 

The Galra had put a price on their lions, guaranteed a prize to anyone that could bring the lions to them. 

That's what this had been, another optimistic alien thinking they could take on team Voltron. They’d failed, of course they had, but right now, Keith feels like they're not the only ones who failed. 

Lance and he had come up with this elaborate plan to prove that they  _ were _ a good team, that they didn't have the worst dynamic, and yet they’d just displayed the exact opposite. 

They’d been uncoordinated, and they’d snapped at each other, and they'd been everything that they shouldn't have been. They’d been everything that they were trying to show they weren't. 

Maybe being a good team was a one time thing. 

Lance seems to agree, because when he passes Keith, holding his helmet in his hand, all he says is, “Maybe Shiro was right,” before walking away, shoulders drooped. 

Keith wants to tell him he’s wrong, wants to tell him that Shiro’s wrong, wants to tell him that they’re okay, but they don't feel okay. 

He lets Lance walk away.

 

 

 

Keith knows he has to apologize the second he steps into the shower, hot water not hot enough.

He doesn't want this thing between them to get any worse. He doesn't want people thinking that they can't work together, because they  _ can _ . 

They just—they’re a work in progress.

Keith isn't good at apologies, but he knows that the second he turns off the water, the second he puts on some clothes, he’s walking next door, to Lance, to give it his best shot. 

They can’t be fake boyfriends if they let one argument ruin things.

They can't even be friends if they let one argument ruin things.

And it's not like they’ve never fought before, it just, it feels different this time. It feels different because they were trying to prove that this  _ wasn't _ them, and yet they'd done the exact opposite. 

Keith doesn't want to fight with Lance. Or—that's not it exactly. He doesn't mind fighting with Lance, when it's harmless bickering. He likes that, even, likes that Lance pushes him. 

He likes… well, he likes Lance. 

It’s really that simple. 

He likes Lance, who he’s fake dating, and who he has to apologize to because neither of them know when to shut the hell up. At least, not when it has to do with each other. 

So maybe it isn't that simple. 

 

 

 

Keith throws his door open and starts to close the short distance between Lance’s and his room when he stops abruptly, noticing that Lance is standing only a few feet from his room. 

Keith blinks, all the impulsiveness and energy he’d felt moments ago bubbling down to nerves and confusion. Why was Lance standing there? What if he was here to end their fake relationship? He doesn't—he isn't—he isn't ready for it to end. 

He takes a moment to acknowledge that it’d probably be best if the fake relationship  _ did _ end, before Keith’s feelings got out of hand, before they ruined things more, but Keith is selfish, and he doesn't want to give this up. 

So instead of doing what he should do, which is nod his head and agree when Lance suggests that they end this thing that probably never should have started in the first place, he’s prepared to talk about all the reasons why they  _ should _ keep it going. 

He starts to say, “I don’t think we should give up yet—”

At the same time that Lance says, “I wanted to apologize—”

They both stop, clearly surprised by the word’s leaving the other. 

Lance is apologizing to him.  _ Lance _ is apologizing to  _ him _ . 

Keith furrows his eyebrows, confusion clear on his face as he tries to find what he wants to say but finally all that comes out is just, “ _ What _ ?”

Lance looks even more confused than he did five seconds ago. “I’m apologizing? For what happened…?”

Keith shakes his head in disbelief. “I should be the one apologizing to you. I’m the one who yelled at you first.” Keith’s heart drops a little in his chest, remembering how bad they’d both done today, how they’d been exactly what they were trying to prove they weren’t. 

“Yeah, because I did something that almost got us hurt,” Lance tries to argue, but Keith shakes his head.

“And I should have helped you instead of yelling at you. I was—” Keith pauses, what is he supposed to say?  _ I was busy being frustrated at myself for liking you when I know you’ll never feel the same so I took it out on you like an asshole?  _ He doesn’t think that’ll go over too well. 

Keith sighs. “I was being impulsive and I’m sorry. I don’t—I don’t want to fight with you like that.”

Something changes in Lance’s face for a moment, but Keith isn’t sure what, and it doesn't stay long enough for him to try and recognize it. 

“I’m sorry too,” Lance starts as soon as Keith is done talking, like the words were sitting on the tip of his tongue, “for calling you nothing more than a dropout.”

Keith ignores that twinge in his chest at those words, hurting more because they were said by Lance, Lance who he wants to impress, not Lance who he wants to let down, who he wants to be seen as “just a dropout” by. He knows that's how a lot of people see him, and he doesn't care, but Lance is different. He cares what Lance thinks. He always has, even if he’s done a pretty bad job of showing it. 

“It’s not true,” Lance goes on. “I don’t think that. I never did. I was just mad at you.” 

“It’s okay,” Keith says, and then, “So we’re not—you weren't coming over here to say we should quit our plan?” 

Lance shakes his head, something like disbelief on his face. “No, no, no I—I still want to do the plan,” Lance pauses, and then starts, more hesitant, “unless… you don’t?” 

Now Keith’s the one shaking his head. “I was coming over here to say I didn't want to give up,” he tells him, and then adds, “And to apologize. I think—I know,” Keith says, not entirely sure what he wants to say. He takes a moment to organize his thoughts and exactly what it is he's trying to get out. 

Lance looks at him, waiting, and finally Keith says, “I know that we’re not perfect, and that there’s some truth to what Shiro said, but,” Keith sighs, frustrated. “He can’t just say we have the worst dynamic because we disagree sometimes. Maybe, I don’t know, fake dating to prove a point is a bit extreme but I—I hate that they think they know us better than we know ourselves.” 

Keith lets out a breath, done talking, waiting for Lance to say something, needing him to say something before his anxiety gets the best of him and he tries to backtrack everything he just said, despite meaning every word of it. 

“I hate it too,” Lance says after what feels like an eternity, but must have only been a few seconds. Keith feels his body relax, some of his worries subdued. Lance laughs then, sending a flutter through Keith’s heart. “I can’t believe you thought I’d give up on my own plan.”

Keith rolls his eyes, huffing, trying to hide the way his lip pulls up in a smile. “Whatever.” 

 

 

 

Things feels lighter between them when they see each other at dinner, Keith sliding into the seat next to Lance, who’s leaning back in his chair, feet propped up on the table. 

Keith raises an eyebrow, eyes moving from Lance’s feet to his face. “You better move those before Allura or Coran see you.”

“Or Shiro,” Hunk adds, and Keith nods in agreement. 

“They can’t stop me from living my life!” Lance declares proudly, wearing a silly grin. 

Keith lets out a small sigh, but it sounds more happy than distressed. “Don’t complain to me when your foot rest is taken from you.” 

Lance grins, like an idea just came to him, and Keith can feel that whatever it is isn't going to be good. 

Lance removes his legs from the table, repositioning his chair so that Lance is facing Keith’s side, and before Keith has time to object (not that he would) Lance’s legs are on his lap. 

“You know, you make an even better footrest than the table.”

Keith shakes his head, setting his hands down on Lance’s legs and patting them a few times before letting them remain there. “You’re ridiculous.” 

Lance opens his mouth like he's about to say something but before he gets a chance Hunk comments, “You guys seem to be getting along better.” 

“Every couple has their issues, Hunk,” Lance informs, “We worked through ours. Talked,  _ kissed _ —”

“Ew, please shut up,” Pidge interjects, and Keith is grateful because his heart's already pounding at the  _ idea _ of kissing Lance. 

They’re going to have to kiss at some point. That’s a thing. That’s—that’s literally going to happen. Like, yeah, he already  _ knew _ that, but he’s only now fully processing it. He’s going to kiss Lance, and it’ll probably mean nothing to Lance but it’ll mean everything to Keith and  _ oh _ . Oh god, how did he ever think this was a good idea? 

“Keith,” he hears Lance say, and it's not so much his name that grabs his attention but the worry in Lance’s voice. “Are you okay?”

Keith blinks, and then starts to nod, a little thrown by how genuine Lance looks in his concern. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Sorry, I—uh, got distracted.” 

Lance grins, but it’s still a little off, still a little filled with worry. “You had me scared there for a second, babe. You were grabbing my leg pretty hard.” 

Keith only barely catches the last part, too caught up on Lance’s nickname. Babe.  _ Babe _ . Why didn’t he end this when he had a chance? He takes a breath, looks down at his hands and remembers to loosen his grip. He hadn’t even notice it had tightened. 

“I’m so glad you guys worked things out,” Hunk says, pulling Lance’s attention from Keith, much to his relief. “I’m still mad at you, Lance, for not telling me first,  _ buuut  _ I’m really happy that you’re happy.” 

“Don’t worry Hunk, you’re still my favorite,” Lance says, and Keith just rolls his eyes as Lance turns to him and says, “Sorry Keith.” 

“Aww Lance—” Hunk starts, but he never gets to finish because Coran and Shiro walk in then. “I tried something new with the space goo today,” Coran announces, to which Lance looks visibly disgusted. 

“C’mon Coran! Every time I get used to this stuff you have to try something different,” Lance whines. 

Keith doesn’t care either way. It’s still goo, it’s still gross, and it’s better than starving. 

...Probably. 

 

 

 

“Oh!” Coran starts, startling Keith, “I never got a chance to tell the two of you about the past blue and red paladins,” Coran directs at Keith and Lance. 

Keith lowers the spoon that had paused at his mouth, his appetite replaced by nervous butterflies. He’s not sure what the past paladins have to do with them, but since their announcement is what brought the conversation up, Keith can’t help but be a little afraid. 

He is interested, to know what the past paladin of red was like, even if it’s weird to think about anyone else being her paladin. She kind of feels like... _his_. 

He glances to Lance, surprised he hasn’t said anything yet, and is even more surprised when it seems like he’s not the only one who’s nervous. Maybe he’s reading it wrong.

“It would be interesting to hear about all of the past paladins,” Shiro comments, and Keith is glad to have some of the attention taken from them. 

“That’s a great idea!” Coran agrees, lighting up. “I’ll tell you all about your paladins after I tell the story of Blue and Red.”

Keith swallows, not liking the way Coran says “the story of Blue and Red,” as if it's something… big. 

Lance still hasn't said anything, which isn't like him. 

Keith sneaks another look, only to find that Lance was already looking at him. Lance immediately breaks eye contact, putting on a grin that seems to lack it’s normal enthusiasm. “Don’t leave us hanging, Coran.” 

Coran shakes his head with an amused chuckle. “Yes, yes. I was getting there. As you know, the lions choose their paladins based on personality,” everyone around the table nods their head. “So it’s not a surprise that you all share qualities with your past paladins. I see them in you,” Coran says, and he looks nostalgic. Keith wonders if he misses them. He probably does. He probably never got to say goodbye. 

That sends another thought through his mind: what if Keith never gets to say goodbye to Shiro, or Lance, or Hunk and Pidge? What if he never gets to say goodbye to Allura and Coran? The weight of their situation hits him, like it sometimes does when he's alone or it's late at night and he can’t stop his thoughts from running on their own time. 

But he's not alone right now, he’s in a room full of people, listening to Coran talk while he tries to ignore the weight that pushes at his chest, the fear. 

At the Garrison, all he had to lose was his place and Shiro. 

He lost both of those things, and now he has Shiro again, as well as five other people he can call friends, five other people he can lose. 

It’s a crushing realization. 

Keith doesn't want to lose them. 

He definitely doesn't want to lose them without ever saying goodbye. 

But it could happen. In the grand scheme of things, it's not even that unlikely. One of them could get captured, or they could all get blown up, or something, anything, and it's all over. 

Keith thinks about the fierce determination Pidge has to find her family. He thinks about the sadness that crosses her face sometimes, when she thinks no one else is paying attention, or when the pain of missing them becomes too heavy for her to hide. 

He would feel something similar to that, he thinks, if he lost any of the other paladins, if he lost Allura or Coran. 

They’re…

_ They’re his family _ .

The other paladins all have people to go home to, but this is it for Keith. He doesn't have a family waiting for him. 

The weight in Keith’s chest pushes down harder, another realization hitting him hard. Even if they win this war, he’s still going to lose them eventually. They’ll go back home, back to their families, back to their lives before they got trapped in space. 

Keith knows that Lance wants to  go back, knows he misses it even when he tries to put up a front. 

Keith’s chest aches, and it aches even more when Coran goes on, “That’s why I was surprised when the relationship between Keith and Lance was dramatically different than the relationship between the past red and blue paladins.” 

Keith furrows his brows, eyes locked on Coran, waiting. 

“They took a liking to each other from the very beginning. Their bond grew strong and fast. Out of everyone, they definitely had the best team work.”

Keith wants to look at Lance, wants to gauge his reaction, but he's too afraid of what he might see.

Keith and Lance are the opposite of what Coran is describing, and maybe, Keith thinks, exactly what he wishes they could be. 

“The two of them together were unstoppable. It truly was amazing to watch. I don’t think I’ve ever seen two people fit so well together, like they were meant to be,” Coran pauses, “Like they were… being pulled to each other by forces beyond them.” 

“Soulmates,” Lance says from Keith’s side, and it’s so quiet that Keith doesn't think Coran hears it, until—

“What was that, Lance?”

Lance coughs, like he's clearing his throat, and Keith uses that as his excuse to look at him. His cheeks are tinted red.

“They were soulmates,” Lance says, louder. “It’s like, what you were saying. When two people are meant to be, when it’s like… destiny. Fate. No matter what choices a person makes, it’ll always lead to that other person.” 

Keith let's out a breath, pretends his heart isn't beating a million miles, and attempts (and fails) to relax. 

How the hell is he supposed to relax when he’s listening to the person he likes talking about soulmates?

How the hell is he supposed to relax when he’s being informed that the two paladins before Keith and Lance were apparently madly in love?

How the hell is he supposed to relax when he wants what they had… or not—maybe not all of it. He’s not sure about love. That’s… big. But he wants the teamwork, the bond. He wants them to be better than they are.

“That’s exactly what they were!” Coran declares. “They were soulmates, yes.” Coran nods, clearly happy with the term. “I remember, they went on a mission one time, and one of them got hurt and had to spend time in a healing pod. The other wouldn’t leave their side. Similar to how Keith was, when you had to go in a healing pod, actually.”

Keith’s eyes widen. Lance was never supposed to know that he’d… spent more time than necessary waiting for Lance to wake up. He didn't think anyone had noticed. 

“Not entirely like Keith, though,” Coran goes on, completely oblivious to Keith’s panic. “The other paladin wouldn’t leave, even to eat or sleep. But that was the first time I recognized the similarities between the two of you and them. Really, it should have been obvious to me from the beginning, but—”

“What should have been obvious?” Keith asks before he can stop himself, and he hopes the dread he feels as soon as the question leaves his mouth doesn't show on his face. 

“That you have what they did,” Coran answers, like it's the most obvious thing in the world, like the idea of implying that Lance and Keith are— _ are soulmates _ , are anything like their old paladins, isn't completely absurd. 

“Oh,” Keith says, quiet and weak. 

He thinks he might be experiencing the five stages of grief all at once. 

It’s one thing to have a crush on Lance, to wish for a deeper bond. It’s another thing entirely to be told that they’re in love.

That’s what's being suggested here, isn't it?

The past red and blue paladins, whoever they were, were obviously in love. 

And Coran is saying that Lance and Keith have what they had. 

Coran is saying that Lance and Keith are in love.

And he’s saying it because he thinks they’re dating. 

That's all there is to it, Keith tells himself.

There can’t be anything more to it because… because Keith can’t be in love with Lance. He just  _ can’t _ . 

But he thinks about it, thinks about Lance at the Garrison, who he only knew from a distance but admired nonetheless. He thinks about the lump in his throat when Lance came in and helped save Shiro, how instead of saying “Yeah, I know you, you’re a great pilot,” he’d went with “Who are you?” instead. He thinks about watching Lance in that healing pod, scared that next time something like this happened, a pod wouldn't be able to fix it. He thinks about Lance pushing him, challenging him, like no one else can. He thinks about getting separated in a wormhole, with no idea if they’ll ever see each other again. 

He thinks about the sound of Lance’s laugh, the way his lips curve up in a smile, the grin he wears when he tells a joke he's proud of, the fluttering in Keith’s chest when Lance stands next to him, even in all the empty space. 

He thinks about Lance falling in love with someone else, someone that isn't him, and his heart twists in a way that definitely isn't pleasant. 

He thinks about how out of all the people he could have ended up in space with, he’s glad it’s Lance. 

No.

No no no no no no no no—

This—this can't be happening. 

He can’t be—

But maybe he is. 

Maybe somehow, somewhere between saving the universe and pushing everything back, he fell in love with Lance. 

Oh god. 

He might be in love with Lance.

Lance is his  _ fake _ boyfriend, and Keith might be in love with him. 

This is so much worse than he realized. 

A pressure against him causes some of Keith’s attention to return to the conversation, “Are you okay?” Lance asks, for the second time that night. 

Keith nods, even if okay is the opposite of what he feels. 

“I’m fine, that's just…” he bites down on his lip and decides to be at least partially honest. “That’s just a lot to take in.”

“Yeah,” Lance agrees in a whisper, and then he laughs, but it sounds all wrong. “They actually think we’re in love. Crazy, isn't it? It means our plan is working though, so that’s good.” 

Keith laughs back, but it comes out stiff and forced. “Yeah. Crazy.”

Lance gives him a look, like he's searching for something, and then leans back in his seat, not seeming to have found what he was looking for. 

The conversation shifts to the other past paladins, and Keith finds himself struggling to pay attention.

He might be in love with Lance. 

 

 

Keith leaves to the training room when dinner finally comes to an end. He doesn't want to think. He wants to work until he feels some semblance of okay, until the weight of his revelation seems smaller than it actually is. 

He doesn't want to face the possibility of his feelings for Lance being far bigger than he’d first thought. 

A crush is something he can get over. 

But love… that’s something that’ll  _ crush _ him.

He spends three hours practicing with the training dummy, exerting himself until he feels exhausted, until he’s certain that he’ll fall asleep the moment his head hits the pillow. 

 

 

 

Keith misses breakfast the next morning, waking up to the sound of knocking on his door. 

Keith groans, stuffing his face deeper into his pillow, and then his mind catches up to the fact that it's morning and he jumps out of bed and to the door, eyes widening when he finds Lance behind it.

He’s not sure who he was expecting. He’s not sure he was even awake enough to expect anyone. 

Lance glances down Keith’s body, and he ignores the annoying little flutter that sends through his stomach. 

“You still sleep in your clothes?” Lance asks, and Keith remembers the last time they had this conversation. 

“There could be an attack at any time,” Keith counters, serious. 

Lance sighs loudly, shaking his head as he pushes his way into Keith’s room. “I can’t believe you. Whatever, it’s your problem, not mine. You can sleep in your,” Lance makes a face of disgust, “ _ jeans _ , while I sleep in soft, comfortable pajamas.” 

Keith rolls his eyes. “It’s not that bad.”

“Suuuure, keep telling yourself that, buddy.” Lance sighs again, and then his mood shifts and he seems… smaller. Keith already feels the nerves bubbling. 

“Anyway,” Lance starts, “I came by because I was worried. You seemed upset last night and then you spent forever training and missed breakfast so I wanted to make sure you weren't dead or something.” 

“I’m not dead,” Keith responds.

And he’s totally fine. 

It’s not like he's having a crisis about maybe possibly probably being in love with one of the six other people he's trapped in space with. 

Oh, and who’s also his fake boyfriend. Emphasis on fake, because Lance doesn't even like him romantically, let alone  _ love _ him. 

_ But Keith is probably in love with him.  _

No big deal or anything. 

“Okaaay,” Lance says, like he’s not entirely satisfied with Keith’s response, like he was hoping for more of an explanation. 

Well, he’d have to keep hoping. 

“I was thinking—” Lance continues, only to have Keith cut him off.

“That’s never a good thing.”

Lance scowls. “Hey!  _ Rude _ . You’re the one who always thinks getting into a fight with anyone and everyone is a good idea so if we’re talking about whose  _ thoughts _ aren't a good idea that would have to be  _ yours _ .”

Keith wants to object, but Lance isn't entirely wrong. So instead he prompts, “You were thinking?”

“Right, okay so, we’re gonna have to kiss,” Lance starts, and Keith already hates where this is going. “So I thought it’d be a good idea if we practiced. It’d be kinda awkward if we were going in for a kiss and like, missed or something.” 

Keith knew that kissing was a part of the deal but he didn't think—he thought it’d be short kisses in front of the others so no one would get suspicious, not the two of them  _ alone in his room _ . 

“Right now?” Keith asks, and he wishes he would think through what he was saying before he said it more often. 

“Um,” Lance eyes widen slightly at the question, like that hadn't been the response he’d expected. Well, that makes two of them. “Sure, yeah. Right now works. It’s as good a time as any.”

Keith knows this is a bad idea, just like everything before this was a bad idea, just like everything in this ridiculous fake dating plan is a bad idea, but that’s not enough for Keith to say no.

Because when it comes down to it, he might never get an opportunity like this again. 

When it comes down to it, Keith really, really wants to kiss Lance. 

“Okay,” Keith says, swallowing, and then he backs up so he can sit down on the edge of the bed. 

  
“Dude, brush your teeth first,” Lance says, scrunching up his face. “You just woke up. I don’t wanna kiss your morning breath.  _ Full offense _ .” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have you ever been a teenager possibly in love? it's dramatic
> 
> anyway sorry i took three hundred years to update. life is weird
> 
> feedback is appreciated and encourages me to write <3
> 
> [tumblr](http://garrettshunk.tumblr.com/)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my writing feels choppy lately but heey here's an update anyway
> 
> also huge thanks to lana for being awesome and helping me edit this!!

Lance has half a mind to book it to Hunk’s room and hide his face in his friend’s pillow for the rest of his life instead of wait for Keith to get out of the bathroom.

_What was he thinking?_

Okay, that's a pointless question. He knows exactly what he was thinking. He was thinking that 1) he didn’t want to fuck up their first kiss in front of everyone and 2) he would never get an opportunity like this again. Ever.

He figures it’s best to grab an opportunity when it presents itself, even if it's kind of maybe probably almost certainly a bad idea.

Lance takes a breath, lets it out, takes another, and taps his fingers against his legs as they bounce up and down, anticipation growing while he waits for the bathroom door to open.

He doesn't think about the strange looks on Keith’s face last night, or Coran telling them that the past blue and red paladins were soulmates.

He doesn't think about the fact that now everyone probably thinks they’re soulmates, too.

_Soulmates…_

Lance wants to believe there's someone out there, someone whose soul is connected to hs, someone the universe pulls him toward.

Lance wants to believe it’s Keith.

Why else would he get stuck in space with the person that was _supposed_ to be his rival?

Why else would he get a quiznacking _crush_ on him?

Maybe there isn't a reason. Maybe things just happen, and there isn't such a thing as fate and soulmates and forces beyond himself.

Lance likes the idea of fate, but he also likes to believe he chooses his own destiny. He likes to believe that every decision he makes is completely _his_ , not some greater plan from the universe.

And right now, he’s choosing to kiss Keith.

He’s choosing to kiss the guy that he’s liked for… he doesn't even known how long. Since the Garrison, probably. He just hadn't noticed until he was being thrown through a wormhole, with no guarantee that he’d ever see Keith, or any of his friends, ever again.

It should have been obvious from the start, with the way his heartbeat tended to pick up whenever he was around Keith, the way he always felt this need to impress him, not just beat him.

It should have been—

His thought gets cut off by the sound of the bathroom door opening, by the sight of Keith walking out.

Keith looks nervous, which is good, because that means he’s not the only one. Too bad they don't make a guide on how to make out with your boyfriend who isn't actually your boyfriend that you happen to have a crush on. That’d come in handy right now.

Lance will just have to wing it.

“Ready for the best kiss of your life?” Lance asks, smirking, all false confidence.

“That shouldn’t be too hard,” Keith starts, avoiding Lance’s gaze, “since I’ve only ever kissed one other person.”

Lance’s eyes widen for a moment, and then he tries to hide the shock. He doesn't need Keith knowing he thought people were all over him at the Garrison. He doesn't need Keith knowing he’d been jealous.

“After you kiss me you won't want to kiss anyone else,” Lance says, ignoring the way his chest aches with the wish for that to be true.

Keith rolls his eyes, finally looking up. “You’re giving yourself a lot to live up to.”

“So how about you come on over here and find out if I’m all talk?” Lance asks, and he never thought he’d be saying anything like that to Keith, ever.

(He wishes he could say things like that to Keith all the time.)

Keith shakes his head, huffing, but he's closing the distance between them, the bed dipping slightly when Keith takes the spot next to him.

There’s a silence that follows, with neither of them able to look at the other.

“Aren't you supposed to kiss me now?” Keith asks, throwing a quick glance in Lance’s direction.

Lance does the same, looking at him just as Keith looks away. “I’m setting the mood!”

“Just kiss m—”

But before Keith has time to finish his sentence, Lance turns his head, grabs Keith’s face, and brings it to him, stopping when their lips touch.

It doesn't last longer than five seconds.

One moment, Lance’s hands are on Keith’s cheeks and his lips are against his, and then the next they’re staring at each other, eyes wide.

And then Lance processes what happened, and words are tumbling from his lips. “Okay, that was awful and I’m totally blaming you fo—”

“How was that my fault?!” Keith asks, throwing his hands up.

“I don’t know! It wasn’t mine!” In all honesty, Lance isn't sure who pulled away first.

“Then try it again!” Keith tells him, and Lance shouts back.

“Fine!”

And then Lance shoots forward, and their lips touch for a second time, and this time neither of them pulls away, which seems to come as a surprise to both of them, because for a moment, they just stay like that, still, with their lips pressed together.

Lance places a hand around Keith’s neck, and then he moves his lips and reminds himself to _breath_.

He’s kissing Keith. He’s thought about this before, imagined what it’d be like. What he didn't imagine was the way his heart is pounding in his chest, like it might explode at any second, like it might break or turn into nothing.

 _He’s kissing Keith_.

But that's not all because— _because Keith is kissing him back_.

 _They’re kissing_ , and Lance doesn't know if they’ll ever get to do it again, at least like this, without anyone watching, so he doesn't stop himself when his other arm wraps around Keith’s neck, bringing him closer.

Lance can’t _think_ , he can’t do anything other than move his lips with Keith’s, and then oh—oh god, _he lets out a moan_.

It’s quiet, but he knows that Keith hears it because suddenly the lips against his are still and then they’re pulling away, looking at him, wide eyed.

“You just moaned,” Keith says, pointing out the obvious.

“Yeah, but you pulled away, which means I win,” Lance tries to reason, because making this a competition makes it easy.

“I made you _moan_ ,” Keith argues, like that automatically makes him a winner.

“Yeah, but you didn't give me a chance to make you moan.”

“I can’t believe you’re making this into a competition.”

Lance ignores the skipped beat of his heart.

“You’re only saying that because you know you’ll lose.”

“I’d win.”

“Prove it then, Mullet.”

“Seriously? I thought you stopped with that nickname.”

“You’re stalling,” Lance points out, because he can’t take another second of this goddamn anticipation.

Keith huffs, and then he stares intently at Lance, like he’s waiting for him to make the first move, but Lance just raises a challenging eyebrow, as if to say ‘Come and get me.’

So Keith does.

He leans in, slow, giving Lance’s heart time to crash before anything even happens. Lance watches Keith’s eyes flutter shut, and only when Keith’s lips press against his for the second time does he close his own eyes.

He tries not to focus on the way Keith looked up close, right before kissing him. He tries to force the word _beautiful_ out of his head.

It feels like a dream, in a way, like he’s going to wake up any second alone in his bed instead of with Keith’s mouth pressed against him, moving with… with some _determination_ , that Lance doesn't only try to match, but to one up.

Because it’s them.

And everything has to be a competition.

It’s easier that way.

Lance pulls away slightly, and finds himself smiling when Keith pushes forward, following him. Lance repeats the action, so that his lips are hovering next to Keith’s, just barely apart.

“Couples usually use tongue,” Lance says, a little breathless, giving Keith a chance to back down.

Keith takes the bait, closing the gap between them in an instant, and Lance opens his mouth, every fiber of his goddamn being feeling ready to melt.

In the moment before the short, almost nonexistent space between them had been closed, Lance had thought he’d seen… _want._

But that wouldn’t make any sense. Or maybe it does. Maybe Keith is just happy to be kissing someone. Lance knows that he sure as hell is. The fact that it’s Keith is definitely a bonus, but he’s not about to tell Keith that.

Keith’s hand finds it’s way to Lance’s cheek, and all he feels is warmth, everywhere, enveloping him.

He wonders briefly if Keith can hear the pounding in his chest.

Lance is lost in the moment, too lost to stop himself when he starts moving positions, wrapping his arms around Keith as he pulls his legs onto the bed so that they’re no longer hanging off. He barely processes when Keith does the same, only that their mouths fit together so much better now, and Lance, eager and excited, drags his lips down to Keith’s neck, just below his jaw.

He’s never given anyone a hickey before, but it seems simple enough. All he has to do is suck at the skin, or something. That’s what he’s doing, and he’s really not sure if he’s doing a good job or not, and then—

Keith moans.

Lance’s lips freeze on Keith’s neck, processing what happened, and then his eyes are widening and he’s pulling away, grinning widely.

“Ha! You moaned!” He brags, pride swelling in his chest.

Keith’s entire face goes red, which only widens Lance’s grin.

“That means I won,” Lance says, but winning doesn't feel as good as he thought it would. It felt better when he had Keith’s lips on his.

Winning feels… more like losing.

_Why the hell did he pull away?_

No—no, it was good that he pulled away. Things were going too far. The mark on Keith’s neck is proof of that. Lance feels a flush of heat looking at it.

_He gave Keith a hickey._

“That’s not fair,” Keith objects, “When I made you moan, I didn’t win. So why should you win now?”

The words ‘your moan was louder’ almost leave his mouth, but he hesitates, and what comes out instead is, “I guess we’re even.”

“Guess so,” Keith says, and something feels heavy between them.

 

 

 

Lance wastes no time in making his way to his best friend’s room.

He collapses face first into Hunk’s bed, letting his head sink into the pillow.

“You alright, buddy?” he hears his friend ask, and Lance just lets out a load groan.

 _No_ , he’s not alright. _He kissed Keith_. And Keith kissed him! But that’s not even the worst part because he gave Keith a _hickey_ (and he wanted, or still wants, to give him another).

A hickey that the rest of the team will see, which is… a good thing, probably, since they're supposed to think they're dating, but Lance doesn't want to think about it! He doesn't want to talk about it! He wants to curl up in Hunk’s bed and watch movies.

But they can't do that, because there aren't any movies in space and they're supposed to be saving the world.

Lance sighs, and then turns around, so that he's on his back, looking up at the ceiling and not at his friend’s worried expression.

“I really like him,” Lance says, because he needs to talk about this with someone, needs to talk about it with _Hunk_ , even if he has to leave out some of the details.

“I know you do,” Hunk tells him, dropping his hand to Lance’s leg, a supportive grip. “He’s your boyfriend.”

“But like…” Lance starts, trying and failing to find the right words. He goes with, “ _A lot_.”

He’s met with silence for a moment, and then, “Are you trying to say you’re in love with him?”

Lance shoots up, shaking his head in a rush, his heartbeat getting faster at the idea, and then he remembers that he’s supposed to be dating Keith, so the suggestion that he might be in love with him isn't completely unthinkable.

“Um,” he starts, shaking his head slower this time. “Love is…” but he’s not really sure how to finish that sentence.

Lance has always believed in love at first sight, and still, despite the numerous amounts of times that that has been disproved (Nyma, being an example), he still wants to believe that when you see someone you’re going to fall in love with, you’ll just _know_.

He doesn’t remember the first time he saw Keith. All he remembers is the jealousy he felt for always coming second.

He wonders if it’d been love at first sight for the paladins before them. Coran had said they’d liked each other immediately, as opposed to Keith and Lance.

“I don’t think I love him,” Lance answers, and then adds, “yet,” because of the whole ‘supposed to be dating’ thing.

“Oh,” Hunk says, like that surprises him.

" _What_?”

Hunk throws his hands up defensively, “Nothing, nothing!”

Lance levels him with a look that says he knows it’s _something_ , and then repeats, “Hunk, c’mon, _whaaaat_?”

“I dunno,” Hunk shrugs, “I thought you guys were in love.”

Lance tries to ignore the flutters that sends through his stomach. “Why?”

“I don’t know, man. It just feels like you’re in love, whenever the two of you are together. You like, you just look at him a certain way.”

Lance scowls. “No I don’t.”

“Dude,” Hunk shakes his head, laughing quietly. “You totally do. It’s like the way you look at all the people you see one time and then tell me you’re in love with. But… more.”

“That doesn't mean I’m in love with him,” Lance argues, because he’s not ready to be in love with Keith. He’s not ready to be in love with someone who doesn't love him back.

Hunk shrugs. “I guess not, but he looks at you the same way.”

Lance’s heart stops, and he forgets that he’s supposed to be pretending he’s dating Keith. “No he doesn't.”

Hunk gives him a weird look. “It isn't that crazy to think he might be in love with you.”

Lance nearly let's the words _we’re not even dating_ leave his mouth, but catches himself last second. “We haven't even been dating a week,” he settles on.

“Yeah but, you’ve been friends for a while.”

Lance opens his mouth to interject, but Hunk shakes his head and continues before he gets a chance. “And don’t even try and pull the rival card. You guys were rivals for like, five seconds.”

“That’s not true,” Lance protests, but maybe it is.

“Why do you want to be his rival so bad?” Hunk asks, and the question hits Lance harder than expected.

“I…” Lance starts, but trails off.

_Why does he want Keith to be his rival?_

It was never something he thought of as something he wanted, but something that just _was_.

They were rivals. Competitors.

Keith and Lance, neck and neck.

It’s always felt like that, even now.

“I like being his rival,” Lance says, and Hunk looks at him, like he doesn't get it, so Lance goes on. “It makes me feel like we’re equals,” he explains honestly. “I like knowing that it’s me he has to keep up with.”

“Oh,” Hunk says, “That actually makes a lot of sense.”

“Yeah… man, can we just do something? And not talk about all this stuff?” Lance asks, because he needs a moment to forget about it all, he needs a moment he can spend with his best friend.

Hunk grins. “What do you want to do?”

Lance grins back. “Anything, as long as it’s with you.”

Hunk holds a hand to his chest, “Aw Lance.” He pauses before suggesting, “Coran had some castle maintenance he wanted me to work on. We could do that.”

“Hunk, if you needed my help, you could have just asked,” Lance says jokingly, and Hunk laughs.

“I need you, Lance, I can’t do this without you.”

“Don’t worry, Lance is here to save the day!”

“My hero,” Hunk declares, and thoughts of Keith and rivalries and love fall to the back of his mind.

 

 

 

Lance spends the entire day with Hunk, and by the time dinner rolls around, he’s in a great mood.

A good enough mood that when Keith walks in Lance lights up and greets him with, “Keeeeith! Come here, I’ve missed you.” instead of avoiding his gaze and making things awkward.

Keith looks at him, suspicious, and maybe a little bit nervous, but he makes his way to Lance anyway, his lip pulled up slightly, almost cautiously.

“You look like you’re in a good mood,” Keith comments.

Lance grins, grabbing Keith’s hand. “Even better now that you’re here.”

Keith’s cheeks turn red, and Lance’s grin grows wider. He brings Keith’s hand to his lips and kisses it, deepening Keith’s blush, which in turn only makes his own cheeks feel warm.

He let's go of Keith’s hand and looks away sheepishly. “Are you gonna sit down?” he asks, before a silence can drag on.

Maybe kissing Keith’s hand wasn’t his greatest idea, because now he’s thinking about this morning, thinking about kissing Keith, thinking about—oh god.

Lance sees it only a moment before Hunk does, because a second later Hunk’s voice is loud in his ear. “ _Dude_ , you gave Keith a hickey.”

Lance freezes up, his face feeling far hotter than it had a few seconds ago.

Keith’s embarrassment shows on his face, and his hand rushes to the mark, covering it up, but it's not like he can spend the entire night with his hand on his neck.

Well, this is going to be fun.

 

 

 

They fall into a routine after that. Or at least, as much of a routine as one can have when they have to be ready for an attack at any moment.

The only big change is training after breakfast, but it's the little things that get to Lance. The way they stand closer together, the smiles they give each other from across the room, the… _trust_.

There’s no more practice kissing sessions, and that’s probably for the best.

 

 

 

“Lance, on your left!”

Lance moves just in time to miss the strike, and seconds later Keith is taking his shot at the gladiator, defeating it for the third time today.

Not just Keith, but the both of them, _together_.

“Not to brag,” Lance boasts, “but we’re getting pretty good at this.”

Keith rolls his eyes, but Lance can tell he’s amused, and Lance thinks he sees pride in Keith’s expression as well. “Sounds like bragging to me.”

“I like to think of it more as pointing out a fact.”

Keith considers that for a moment, and then he nods, biting back a grin. “Alright, I’ll give you that.”

Lance doesn't make the same attempts to hide his grin. “Ready for another round?”

“I’m always ready.”

“Not as ready as me.”

“We’ll see about that.”

 

 

 

There’s a pool in the castle, and Lance is only finding out now. He could have been swimming all this time!

Lance shakes his head, and although he’s already complained at least ten times about how he should have known this sooner, he decides to add one more complaint for good measure. “Me and Keith could have been going on pool dates, Allura! I’ve missed out on all these opportunities to woo him with my cool pool skills!”

Allura doesn't budge, just reasons, “You can do that now.”

Lance sighs loudly, clinging to Keith’s side. “Can you believe this?” he asks, and Keith laughs. It’s something he’s been doing a lot lately. Lance doesn't think he’ll ever get sick of it.

“Guess we’ll just have to make up for lost time,” Keith says, and it’s moments like these, moments that have been occurring a lot more lately, that Lance forgets this isn’t real.

It’s moments like these, with Lance holding onto Keith, with Keith holding back, both of them smiling, that Lance thinks there might be a chance. That Lance thinks maybe they’re more like red and blue than they thought.

 

 

 

“Marcooooo!” Lance calls, and listens for the polos.

It’s a silly game, but everyone’s playing, Coran and Allura included, and for the first time in a while, Lance doesn’t feel like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. For the first time in a while, he feels like he can just be a teenager.

“Marcoooo!” Lance calls again, and he thinks he hears Keith’s ‘polo’ not far from him, so he dives in that direction, but all he touches is more water.

 _Water_. He hasn’t decided yet if it curbs his homesickness or makes it worse.

“Marcoooo!” Lance tries again, and now he’s certain that it’s Keith’s ‘polo’ next to him. He hears the faint sound of splashes and jumps towards it. This time, his hand lands on skin and he opens his eyes to find that he’s touching Keith’s shoulder.

“Gotcha,” he says with a grin, and Keith grins back.

“I let you have that one,” Keith argues playfully, and Lance raises an eyebrow, swimming closer, so that the distance between them is smaller.

“I think you need to learn when to admit defeat,” Lance tells him, and then he wraps his arms around Keith and jumps onto him, legs clinging to his waist.

“Would you guys stop being gross?” asks Pidge from somewhere in the pool, but it only makes Lance’s smile wider. (He kind of, maybe, possibly, really likes being “gross” with Keith.)

“I think it’s cute,” says Hunk, and Lance wiggles his eyebrows suggestively at Keith.

“Hear that? We’re cute?”

Pidge groans in the background, and Lance leans forward, pressing a quick kiss to Keith’s forehead, which somehow feels more intimate than anything else they’ve done, make out session included.

Lance knows that everyone is watching them, knows that’s the whole point, since they have to keep this fake dating charade going, but right now it feels like it’s just the two of them. It feels like a moment between just them, not meant for anyone else.

He swallows, not moving his gaze from Keith, who’s looking back at him with the same intensity, with the same… _feeling_.

This feels private.

Fake relationships aren't supposed to be private.

Lance’s heart rate is getting faster, and neither one of them is moving, and it feels like the moment is going to be shattered at any second, and Lance can’t bring himself to be the one to do it.

Keith takes the initiative.

He leans forward, stopping for a brief second, giving Lance to chance to back away, but Lance doesn't and then Keith moves the rest of the way, a short kiss against his lips before he’s slipping out of Lance’s grasp and underwater, leaving Lance breathless.

When Keith pops up seconds later, he doesn't look at Lance, just calls “Marco!” and let's the game continue.

And if Lance is off his game for the rest of the day, no one says anything.

 

 

 

Lance isn't sure _when_ the shift happened, only that it did, and that he’s gotten dangerously used to it.

He’s used to Keith being near him, used to making Keith laugh, used to being _friends_.

Their plan worked, to say the least.

No one can deny that they make a good team.

No one can give them that “worst dynamic” crap.

He notices the way Shiro’s been looking at them, like he’s proud, and Lance wishes he didn't care so much, but he does.

He wants people to keep seeing them like this, he wants them to keep _being_ like this, but eventually, they’re going to have to break up. It’s inevitable.

They can’t fake date for the rest of their lives.

It’s not the breaking up that scares him so much, but the chance of things changing afterwards.

The chance of Keith finding out that Lance’s feelings haven’t been faked.

He doesn't want to go from worst to best to worst again.

And above all else, he doesn't want to lose Keith as a friend.

Because now that he knows for sure that's what they are, he can’t imagine them ever _not_ being that.

Relationship or not, Lance doesn't want to lose Keith, but the idea of only being friends sends an ache through his chest.

Lance sighs, shifting in his bed for what feels like the hundredth time. Deciding that he’s probably not going to get any sleep tonight, he tosses his covers to the side, puts on his slippers, and quietly makes his way to the kitchen.

The castle is, admittedly, freaky when no one else is around, when all the lights are off. It takes a moment for him to collect his courage before he’s on the fast track to the kitchen, reminding himself that he’s totally safe here. Totally and completely.

Nothing to worry about.

It’s only on his way back to his room, when Lance hears a noise, does his fear finally win over.

He jumps up, letting out a squeak and dropping his juice box on the floor.

“Chill out, Lance,” he tells himself, letting out a breath before bending down to pick up the dropped juice. Luckily, it’s still fine.

“Scared of the ghosts?” comes a voice from not far away, causing Lance to jump _again_ , and drop his juice _again_.

He doesn’t need to look up to know the voice belongs to Keith.

“I’m not scared of ghosts,” Lance asserts, finally getting to his feet and letting his gaze linger on Keith.

Keith’s in the same outfit that he always wears, and Lance has to resist the urge to get at him for sleeping in his clothes. They’ve been over this before, Keith’s isn’t going to change his mind and choose comfort over preparedness. 

“Really? Because that’s not how it seemed when we first got to the castle,” Keith points out, and Lance huffs in defeat.

“Ghosts are scary, Keith!” Lance whisper shouts, to which Keith’s lips perk up.

“Then why wander the castle alone?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” Lance answers with a shrug. “I decided to get a snack.”

Keith glances to the items in Lance’s hand. “A juice box and a space goo cookie.”

“The cookies aren't that bad once you get used to them,” Lance defends, because that's exactly what Keith had told Lance a few nights ago when he’d insulted their taste.

Keith’s lip raises. “That sounds familiar. Are you quoting someone?”

“Shut up,” and then, for good measure, Lance adds, “Mullet.”

“You’re seriously never gonna drop that name, are you?” Keith asks, but he seems entertained.

“It suits you.”

Keith let's out an amused breath and rolls his eyes, and then his expression gets more serious. “So you can’t sleep?”

Lance nods. “Yeah.”

“Why not?”

“A lot on my mind, I guess.”

“Want to go on a walk?”

Lance’s eyes widen, surprised.

“You—I mean—don’t you want to sleep?” Lance asks. “You could use your beauty sleep, after all.”

“I think I’ll do without it.”

“Okay,” Lance says, and he’s not entirely sure what he’s agreeing to.

Most of their alone time is spent training. They haven't had actual, genuine alone time that wasn’t spent doing something Voltron related since… since the kiss.

Lance lets out a shaky breath. “So, you coming or not?”

Keith smiles, and it's one of his genuine, happy smiles.

Keith has a lot of different smiles, Lance has started to realize, and this one might be his favorite.

“Yeah just, uh, let me put on my boots.”

“At least you don’t sleep in those,” Lance says, and Keith gives him a _look_ before disappearing into his room.

Lance takes the moment of solitude to wonder if the past red and blue paladins knew the difference between each other's smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so!! just to clarify some things timeline wise, the scenes towards the end were short and just a way to show that time is passing and kind of how their dynamic changes with it? the end scene is where the next chapter will pick up!!
> 
> i love u all thank u for reading, feedback is appreciated <3
> 
> also omg so i'm like imagining keith saying the "i made you moan" line like he said the "we had a bonding moment" line,, just a fun fact


	4. Chapter 4

Keith takes longer than necessary putting on his shoes. It’s been a few weeks, a month maybe, since they started this whole thing. It’s hard to keep track of time in space.

However long it’s been, they’ve changed in that time. Their insults are meant to be playful, their teamwork is stronger, their _friendship_ is stronger. They feel… comfortable, Not entirely, but more than they used to be.

It’s easy to forget, sometimes, that they weren't always like this, that their smiles and attention are for the others, to make their relationship believable.

It hasn't felt like everything they do is for the others since the first week. Everything feels natural now, like if they took away the fake dating label, they’d still be doing the exact same things, _because they wanted to_.

Keith was tentative at first, with the physical affection, but now he’s so used to it, used to the way Lance stretches his legs out across Keith’s lap, used to the way they’re constantly pressed up to each other’s sides, used to being pulled in for a hug. Keith’s used to it, _and he likes it._

When all of this is over, he doesn't want it to stop. That's what scares him most, the thought of what happens when they no longer have the safety net of fake dating, when they’re no longer pretending they're in love with each other.

When they fake break up, because they will, because they _have_ to, Keith will have two choices: get over Lance or hide his feelings, and he’s not sure he can do either.

He’s pretty sure the whole “get over Lance” ship has sailed, and it's a lot easier to pretend he isn't _actually_ in love with Lance when he has to pretend to be in love with him. Funny how that works.

Keith grabs the blanket from his bed, wrapping it around himself instead of putting on his sweater. At least this way he has something to hold onto, something to act as a shield, a comfort.

He’s used to being around Lance with the others, but now that it’s just the two of them, he’s nervous. Now that it’s just Lance and a dark castle, all of Lance’s attention will be on him.

 _This was your idea_ , Keith reminds himself as he tightens the blanket around his shoulders, making his way to a waiting Lance.

Lance jumps when he opens the door, and Keith’s lip raises in amusement. “Scared I might be a ghost?”

“Shut up,” Lance huffs, crossing his arms over his chest and making a pouty face. “You look cozy,” he adds, face softening.

“Jealous?” Keith asks, tone playful.

“Jealous of you?” Lance retorts, “Never.”

Keith shakes his head with a chuckle, letting his eyes drift to the floor as he takes a step forward, arms holding the blanket to him.

With neither of them talking, the only sound is the hum of the castle, slightly unsettling at this time of night, under the dimly lit halls.

“Do you think we’ll ever go home?” Lance asks out of nowhere, and it’s the most personal question Lance has ever asked him. It should feel weird, they don't talk about these sort of things, but it doesn't.

“Eventually,” Keith answers, keeping his gaze forward so he doesn’t have to look at Lance.

“Do you miss it?”

“Yeah.”

“Really?” Lance pokes further, like that’s not the answer he’d been expecting.

“It was my home too,” Keith says, getting defensive.

Lance doesn't respond right away, and Keith finds himself glancing to his side, only to find that Lance is already looking at him.

Keith looks away.

“Sorry,” Lance says.

“It’s okay,” Keith tells him.

“You just don’t seem that eager to go back, so I thought—”

“That I didn’t care?”

“Something like that,” Lance agrees.

They walk in silence for a moment longer, Keith trying to find words that’ll make sense out loud

“My place is the desert… that was the closest thing to a home I’ve ever really had,” Keith starts, his eyes glued to the ground. “I don’t expect you—or anyone else—to understand, but I miss it. I don’t have anything to go back to, not really,” Keith pauses for a second, his stomach dropping slightly. The only other person he’s ever talked to about this kind of stuff is Shiro, but this feels different, somehow.

He definitely never thought he’d be talking to Lance like this.

“I miss it, but… I don’t have this longing to go back. I feel useful here. I’m actually doing something that matters.”

Keith swallows, and even though he knows it’s a bad idea, he lets his eyes find Lance’s.

Keith feels too many things at once to try and understand any of them, and he can barely make out his own emotions let alone even begin to try and imagine how Lance might be feeling, so he just looks, and Lance looks back, until they’re both dropping their gazes, trying to make sense out of something that makes no sense.

“I miss my family,” Lance says, after a few minutes have passed.

Keith waits, getting the sense that there’s more. Lance continues, “I miss waking up to the noise, I miss the beach, I miss movie nights, I miss my mom’s hugs.”

Lance takes a breath, and Keith notices a tear rolling down his cheek. He doesn't say anything about it.

“I missed them all the time while I was at the Garrison, but I always knew I’d get to see them again.” Lance shakes his head. “Now I don’t know. We’re so far away, and I don’t know if I’ll ever see them again. They probably think I’m dead.” A few more tears roll down Lance’s cheek.

He can only imagine how Lance is feeling, and he’s scared that anything he says will be the wrong thing, so instead he doesn't say anything. Instead, he stops, grabs hold of Lance, and wraps his arms around his shoulders, the blanket that Keith had brought with him resting against Lance’s back.

Lance’s arms almost immediately go to Keith’s stomach, squeezing back.

When Keith got stuck in space with Lance, this is the last place he thought they’d ever find themselves in, but somehow, it feels like the right place, and for now, that’s all that matters.

Keith isn’t sure how long they stay like that, all he knows is that when they finally pull apart, he wishes it’d been longer. He wishes it didn't have to feel like the last time it’d ever happen. He wishes they could be the Lance and Keith who took walks through the castle in the middle of the night all the time, instead of the Lance and Keith who hated each other.

But they never hated each other, even when they were fighting.

And now… now he’s not sure what they are. To the team, they're in love.

They’re definitely not rivals anymore. Or, maybe they kinda are, but they'r  e also friends, and something else, something that Keith can’t place.  

But they’re not the past paladins. They’re not soulmates. They’re not destined to be together.

And then, before he can stop the words from coming out, he asks, “Do you believe in soulmates?”

A few weeks ago, Lance would have made fun of him for asking that question.

Now, he gives an honest answer. “Yes.”

“So you believe that our past paladins were soulmates?”

“Yeah,” Lance pauses, “Do you? Believe in soulmates?”

“I don’t know,” Keith answers honestly.

“I’ve heard you have in depth conversations with Pidge about how bigfoot and mothman are real, but you might not believe in soulmates?” Lance asks, sounding amused. The corner of his lip is perked up.

“That’s _different_ ,” Keith insists, because it is.

“My mom and dad are soulmates,” Lance says, and his expression is soft, and Keith can’t help but wonder what Lance’s parents are like, what his entire family is like.

Maybe one day, he’ll find out.

He doubts it.

“Uh, good for them?” Keith says, but it comes out sounding more like a question. He’s not sure what else to say.

Lance nods, and then asks, “Do you believe in love?”

Keith gives him a look, like that’s a ridiculous question. “Of course I believe in love.”

“Not everyone does,” Lance points out.

“Well I do,” Keith tells him.

“Cool,” Lance says.

“Cool,” Keith says back.

Neither of them says anything after that, and they keep walking through the halls, with Keith thinking about soulmates.

He’s not surprised that Lance would believe in something like that. Hunk probably does, too.

If Keith had a soulmate, he’d be afraid of letting them down. Somehow, putting an extra word to what he is to someone makes everything more stressful. Being someone's soulmate makes it seem like he’s supposed to be perfect for them and that just doesn't feel realistic.

Keith is about to turn the corner when Lance stops, and Keith had the words ‘What are you doing’ on his tongue, but they disappear the moment Lance sits down on the edge, looking out at the universe they’re trying to save.

Keith sits next to him, and he doesn’t say anything. Lance is looking out the window, his expression full of something Keith can’t quite place, but it feels like if he says anything he’ll interrupt Lance’s thought process, so he waits, letting himself look out at all the stars in front of them.

“I used to be jealous of you,” Lance says suddenly, and it causes Keith to jump, having not expected Lance to speak so soon. And then he processes what Lance just said.

“You— _what_?” Keith asks, dumbfounded.

Lance laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “I still am jealous of you.”

Keith’s face twists into something resembling confusion. He doesn't like the way Lance looks, the way he sounds… defeated, almost, and scared, like he thinks Keith might make fun of him.

“I…” Keith isn’t really sure what to say. “Why?”

“At the Garrison, you were the one to beat, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t compare to you.” Lance sighs, and Keith chews at the bottom of his lip, slightly frustrated.

“You’re an amazing pilot, Lance.”

Lance shrugs. “Yeah, but that’s not enough.”

“It doesn't matter if you’re not the best pilot,” Keith argues, the frustration finding it’s way to his voice. “You’re the best at other things. You’re the best sharpshooter, and you’re the best at talking to people, and you’re the best at making people laugh, and—”

Keith stops, his brain catching up with his mouth. He looks at Lance, who’s looking at him with slightly wide eyes and a conflicted expression.

“I’m sorry,” Lance says finally.

“For what?”

“Putting all this on you.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Keith tells him. “We’re friends, right?”

“Yeah,” Lance agrees without hesitation.

“Then you’re allowed to talk to me about these kinds of things… even if I don’t know how to respond,” Keith says.

They’re silent for a moment, and then Lance asks, “You really think I’m the best sharpshooter?”

“Yeah,” Keith confirms with a nod, the ghost of a smile appearing on his lips.

They fade back into silence, and it feels like there’s more that needs to be said, more than needs to be worked through, but for now, they’re okay.

Keith finds his eyes constantly drifting from space to Lance. There’s an entire galaxy right in front of him and his gaze continues to find itself back on Lance. Funny how that works.

He wants to reach out and grab Lance’s hand. He wants to close the small space between them, to lean his head on Lance’s shoulder. He’s gotten used to being close to Lance, used to the comfort that accompanies their closeness.

Lance looks at him then, and instead of looking away, like he’s tempted to do, Keith finds his eyes.

He’s not sure what’s happening, but it feels like something, and it’s making Keith’s heart beat a million miles a minute.

Neither of them is looking away, and he’s certain that they’ve passed the amount of time that’s normal for two people to hold eye contact.

He could kiss Lance right now, if he wanted to. That thought causes his eyes to fall to Lance’s lips for a moment.

In the second it takes Keith to decide to lean in, Lance is already halfway there.

Keith’s eyes close the moment their touch, and if he’d thought his heart was beating fast before, that was nothing compared to now.

It doesn’t last longer than three seconds, and then Lance is pulling away, though he doesn't go that far.

“There’s no one here,” Keith whispers, their faces inches apart.

“I know,” Lance whispers back, and then his expression flashes what seems to be worry. “Was that okay?”

Keith nods, because really, that’s all he’s capable of right now.

“Are you sure?” Lance asks.

Keith stops himself from simply nodding again and manages to get out, “Yes.”

“Cool,” Lance says.

“Cool,” Keith says back, and then Lance’s face moves farther than a few inches away.

Keith isn’t sure what to think, and then he feels Lance’s fingers brush against his, and he expects them to move but it seems like Lance is planning on keeping them there.

He’s more than okay with that.

 

 

 

 

When Keith opens his eyes, he’s met with light. He’s seconds from bolting up because he’s not sure where he is, and why he’s not waking up in his bed, and then he turns his head to see Lance, and he remembers why he’s here.

 _And the kiss_. What did it mean? Does Lance like him? He wouldn’t kiss him if he didn’t like him, would he? Unless it was more practice, but that wasn't anything like a practice kiss.

His mind’s still reeling when he hears Lance’s voice snapping him back to reality.

“Morning sleepyhead,” Lance says with a grin. “Guess you needed your beauty sleep after all.”

“Shut up,” Keith says, but there's nothing rude about the way he says it. “How long was I asleep?”

“Like an hour. You fell asleep on my hand.”

“Sorry,” Keith says, because he doesn’t know what else to say.

They’re still talking, so that’s something. Keith wants to bring it up, but he doesn't know how Lance might react if he does. Talking about things in the middle of the night feels different.

It’s easier to be open, for whatever reason.

“Do you want to see if anyone else is up?” Lance asks.

“Sure,” Keith agrees.

Keith doesn’t sneak glances at Lance while they make their way to the kitchen, even if he wants to. He’s pretty sure that if Lance catches him looking, Keith won’t be able to hide a blush. It’s best not to risk it.

The sound of singing from outside the kitchen door alerts them of Coran’s presence. Keith and Lance share an amused glance before making their entrance.

“Good mor—” Lance loudly begins to greet, but stops as Coran jumps up in surprise.

“Quiznak Lance!” Coran says, the shock of their entrance still evident on his face.

Lance is smiling wider than ever, eyebrow raised. “ _I didn’t know you could sing_.”

That makes Coran smile, too, almost as wide as Lance. He looks quite proud of himself. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Space Juice.”

Lance heads to the table, taking a seat in one of the chairs, and kicking his feet up on the table. Keith follows, sitting next to him.

“Feet off the table, Lance,” Coran tells him, pointing an accusatory finger, despite the amusement in his tone. Lance pouts but does as he’s told.

“Don’t stop singing on our account,” Lance says, grinning, and Keith doesn’t expect Coran to actually start up again but he does, and he’s a lot better than Keith would have imagined, not that Coran singing is something that ever would have crossed his mind until now.

“Soooo,” Lance says, half in a whisper.

“So,” Keith says back, nerves growing in his stomach.

“Last night…”

“It was technically today,” Keith informs.

Lance rolls his eyes. “Shut up, I’m trying to start a conversation.”

Keith grins at Lance’s eye roll, but it’s gone a moment later.

“Last night,” Keith repeats back, because he’s not used to talking about things, especially with Lance, especially when they’re this important, especially when there’s a singing man in the room with them.

“We talked,” Lance says, avoiding the _other_ thing they definitely did.

“We’re talking now,” Keith points out, not making this conversation any easier.

“Keeeith,” Lance whines, draping his hands across the table.

Keith bites down on his lip. “Sorry,” and then, because he doesn't want Lance to think he’s not trying, he adds, “I’m scared.”

“So am I,” Lance tells him, and that doesn’t necessarily make Keith less scared, but it’s comforting to know he’s not the only one. “We should talk about it, right?” Lance asks when Keith doesn’t immediately respond.

“Yeah…” Keith agrees, because they should. “But is _now_ the best time?” He glances to Coran, who’s dancing around the kitchen while he sings.

“So we’ll talk later?”

Keith nods. “Later.”

“Cool.”

 

 

 

 

They day passes in a blur, Keith’s mind too preoccupied to focus on anything other than the impending talk.

He vaguely registers Lance’s entire face turning red after Hunk whispers something in his ear, and when Keith raises a questioning eyebrow, his blush only darkens, if at all possible.

After breakfast, he ends up in the training room with Shiro, and he’s hoping that training is the only thing Shiro wants to do, but he’s got this look on his face like he’s waiting for the right moment to start up a conversation. Probably about something Keith doesn’t want to talk about. Probably about Lance.

It takes half an hour for Keith to be proven right, to his misfortune.

“You and Lance seem happy,” Shiro comments offhandedly, as if he hadn’t spent the last half hour trying to think of a way to start this conversation. Keith may not be the best at reading other people, but when it comes to Shiro, he can usually tell what’s up.

“We are,” Keith responds with a shrug. He has no intentions of making this easier on Shiro.

“You seem happy,” Shiro says this time, and Keith nods as nonchalantly as he can.

“Yeah, I am.”

“I’m happy for you,” Shiro tells him, and for some reason that strikes something in Keith.

“Really?” He asks, trying to keep the edge out of his voice. “You didn’t seem happy when we told you we were dating.”

Shiro’s expression turns guilty, and Keith feels a little bad for getting snappy. Only a little, though.

“I’m sorry about that,” Shiro says, and he sounds sincere. “I was surprised. It felt like it was coming out of nowhere, and I was scared you guys were in over your heads. I didn’t want it to affect the team.” Shiro sighs, the guilt not leaving his face.

Keith looks down at his feet, biting at the inside of his mouth, somewhat guilty himself. He wonders how Shiro would react if he knew they weren't actually dating, and it was all to prove Shiro wrong.

“It’s fine,” Keith says, and he hopes that can be the end of the conversation, but apparently Shiro has more he wants to say.

“I really _am_ happy for you, Keith,” Shiro tells him, and it sounds so genuine that it almost breaks Keith’s heart. “You and Lance seem to really care for each other.”

Keith swallows. “Yeah.” A pause. “I like him a lot.”

Shiro nods, and he turns around like that’s the end of their conversation, and this is what Keith wanted, for it to be over, but for some reason he finds himself saying, “Shiro. Wait.”

Shiro stops mid turn, his eyes on Keith. “Yeah Keith?”

“Do you think he likes me?”

Shiro’s face twists with confusion. “Of course he likes you. He’s your boyfriend.”

Keith sighs. “I know—I just… if he wasn’t my boyfriend. Would you think he likes me?”

Shiro’s expression grows more confused, and Keith is starting to regret asking. He just needs to know.

“I’m not really the best person to be asking this,” Shiro says, shifting awkwardly. Keith is about to say ‘okay’ and let that be that, but then Shiro continues. “But if he wasn’t your boyfriend, I would think he wanted to be.”

It somehow manages to feel like Keith’s heart speeds up and slows down at the same time. “Oh,” is all he can manage to get out.

Shiro is quiet for a moment, giving Keith a chance to think that over, and then he asks tentatively, “Is something going on with you two?”

Keith shakes his head. “No, no, it’s—we’re good,” he settles on. It’s not entirely false.

“Okay, well, if you ever want to talk about anything, you know I’m here for you,” Shiro tells him.

Keith nods. “I know.”

And with that, the conversation comes to an end, and Keith can lose himself in their training.

 

 

 

 

He doesn’t see Lance again until dinner. Shiro had kept Keith preoccupied the majority of the day, and even if he hadn’t, Lance had been with Hunk.

Seeing him sends a bolt of nerves straight to his stomach, and then the butterflies take over. He takes a seat next to Lance, pretending like their looming conversation isn’t completely terrifying him.

He knows what he wants to say, he just… has no idea how to say it.

And what if what he wants to say is the opposite of what Lance wants to say? What if Lance thinks the kiss was a mistake? What if Lance was hanging out with Hunk all day so he could avoid Keith?

 _Relax_ , Keith reminds himself, and then suddenly there’s a voice in his ear.

“You okay?” Lance whispers, and Keith tries to act like Lance hasn’t caught him completely off guard.

Keith nods.

“Do you want to talk? After dinner?”

Keith’s eyes widen slightly. For some reason, he thought he’d have to be the one to bring it up.

He nods again.

“Cool,” Lance says, his lip perking up slightly, and then he turns his attention back to whatever conversation is currently happening.

 

 

 

 

Keith is pretty sure that silence can kill. He’a also pretty sure that it’s currently killing him, slowly and painfully.

They’re sitting on Lance’s bed.

They’ve been sitting on Lance’s bed for the last ten minutes.

In silence.

And _not_ the nice kind of silence, not the comforting kind. It’s awkward, and heavy, and Keith is seconds away from blurting the first thing that comes to min—

“I like you,” Lance says out of nowhere, being first to break the silence.

Relief floods Keith, and then his mind processes what exactly it was Lance said.

Lance likes him.

 _Lance likes him_.

That means the moments between them, they haven't just been in Keith’s head. They haven't just been wishful thinking. They were real.

_Lance likes him._

He hears Lance clear his threat. “Hey Keith? Buddy, pal, could you say something before my heart explodes or something?”

“I like you too,” Keith rushes to get out, and he watches the way realization clicks in Lance’s eyes, like it had in his own only moments ago.

“Wow,” is all Lance says in response.

“I know.”

“So…” Lance starts, “we like each other?”

Keith nods. “I guess so.”

“That’s pretty cool.”

Keith can’t help but smile at that. “Yeah, it’s pretty cool.”

Keith watches Lance as a smile makes it’s way to his face, growing bigger and bigger until he says, “Holy shit.”

Butterflies burst through Keith’s chest, and this time, he doesn’t find them annoying, because he knows Lance feels the same. He knows that those butterflies aren’t going to be the end of their friendship, but instead the start of something new.

“I know,” Keith says, his own smile growing.

Lance’s expression changes slightly, and then he’s grabbing Keith’s hand in his own, grin ridiculously wide as he asks, “Keith, do you want to be my boyfriend for real this time?”

“Yes,” Keith answers without a moment's hesitation, because this is what he’s wanted, ever since they started this whole thing, for it to be real.

Lance flings his arms around Keith, causing him to fall back against the bed, Lance on top of him. Lance grins down at him, and then it falters.

“Uh,” Lance starts, “does this mean we have to tell the team that we were only faking it before?”

“Eventually,” Keith answers, because he doesn’t want to lie to his friends, “but not yet… we have more important things to do right now.”

Lance raises an eyebrow, lowering his face closer to Keith’s. “Oh yeah? What’s that?”

Keith leans up. “This,” he says before pressing his lips against Lance’s.

It’s not the first time he’s kissed Lance, but it kind of feels like it is, because this time he knows Lance is kissing him because he wants to. This time he can take comfort in the fact that there’s not an end to how long they’ll be able to do this.

This time, they have a future.

Maybe they’re more like their past paladins than they thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long long long wait, life got in the way. i decided to shorten this fic because i'd like to work on other things that i have more inspiration for. thank you so much for reading! i love you all.


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